Ramblings

Deciphering the Sub-conscious (Part-II)

Today I have been shattered into pieces. Hundreds and thousands of small pieces that I can count not. My shredded heart weeps and bleeds. But they dry up; the tears and the blood. You know the time when you are so hurt that in a moment of impulse you just cry. Cry and cry till you have none left to shed. And then you wonder how to alleviate the pain. You throw things around, scream and try to cry; cry and lighten the burden on your shredded heart. But, tears fall short. You cannot measure the pain. It just hurts. It hurts because you never thought something like that would happen. You don’t know whom to blame, because the person who caused the pain also acted in a moment of impulse. Millions of thoughts cross your mind and drive you mad. You don’t want to forgive that person. You want to hate the source of that piercing pain. But you cannot get yourself to act upon your wishes because your love for that person overpowers all concerns of right and wrong. You know that the person did not mean those words. But, they still pierce your soul. You are left in utter disbelief at your cowardice. But then you think- ”Cowardice? Am I a coward? But, when there is love, what else is needed? No matter how much I’ve been hurt, I know that the love has not altered by an inch.” And then you think of life without that person and you would rather die than imagine things like that. But, how do you get yourself to forgive that person? It would mean going against all those ideals that you live by, that you value so much and are so proud of. You cannot share your pain with anyone because no one would really understand. They would advise you in a moment of impulse. But you are looking for rationale; rationale to justify your emotions or solve the cobweb of them, rather. Because your rationale is being too harsh on you. Because those ideals, those opinions, those values that you have always abided by, or you thought so, now seem easier thought, easier said, than done. And then you realise that the web of love that you have been caught in is too strong to break; that the web has carefully collected all those shredded pieces of your wounded heart and has placed them back in order. Only a tiny piece is missing!